Honesty

1.

I keep telling you that I only smoke to deal with my anxiety.
Somehow we have three televisions so let’s pitch one out the window.
It’s not about destruction. I’m just worried that I’ll run out of messes
to clean up. Another thing that should be reversed is that I’m plucking
ants from your hair and discovering fuchsia blossoms in my own.

I make myself proud and then go outside
to punish myself for thinking I know how to live.

2.

Only homeless people talk to strangers
these days so I’m free to sit by myself and read.

I hold office hours in the library.

The kids don't show up so I check out books 

and write in their margins.

Sometimes love notes, sometimes just
little things like How was your day?
No one ever writes back.

I think I'm coming on too strong.

3. 

Sometimes I find a poem and
it feels like walking into a bathroom
where someone is laying naked on the floor.

It’s not a bad feeling, but it flusters me all the same.

Sometimes I write poems
and sometimes I want to make people
feel the same way.

I think maybe I should work on getting a tan first.